There’s a new book out called Friendfluence by Carlin Flora. In this post, I share my thoughts on the core theme of her book which is how our friends influence us.
Friendship is a two-way street. Our friends are a powerful influence in our lives and vice versa. We need friends who support the core of who we are and our identity. In fact, making time to be with friends is part of self care. Yet, life makes it hard to stay connected. Even though we now have so many more ways to connect thanks to technology, there is still nothing like physically being with a friend. Despite the family and home demands, sometimes you just need to leave the house dirty and be with your friend.
In Friendfluence, Carlin says that, “The closest of friendships contain the mysterious spark of attraction and connection as well as drama, tension, envy, sacrifice, and love. For some, it’s the highest form of love there is.”
When I read this, I thought of the instantaneous, strong connections I have felt with some of my closest friends. At age three, I intuitively knew my best friend, Lara. After being attacked in college, just being with Amy helped me heal and regain my confidence. In graduate school, I so admired Diane’s contribution in a class, that I made sure to sit by her at lunch so we could become friends. As crazy-busy moms, Judy and I became immediate friends in just a twenty minute gabfest in my front yard. I’m so glad she got out of her car! On August 13, 2011, I rang Jen’s doorbell on a hunch that she lived in the house with the gorgeous new landscaping and was someone I had meant to connect with a few years prior. We both remembered each other and we picked up as if we had been life-long friends.
I have held onto a sweet Hallmark greeting card (Eek! Remember those ol’ things?) because I love the sentimental verse inside the card about friendship. It reminds me of all the life-giving time I have spent with my dear, dear friends.
Here’s a great excerpt of Friendfluence, courtesy of the Today Show.